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(Source: cruelworld30, via psyducked)

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lirzie:

i made the right choice

(via psyducked)

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tongue-toyed:

i never really liked

my name

much

until i found out

what it tastes like

when you write it in frosting

on top of a cake

(Source: your-scallywag, via hotboyproblems)

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riddlemehiddleston:


This came into work today. I shortlisted it and displayed it on my cafe counter.
The back said something like “He is into BDSM. (Batman, Dragons, Star Wars, and Magic the Gathering).”
The first paragraph starts like this:

“I growl with frustration at my reflection in the mirror. My hair is fifty shades of messed up. Why is it so kinky and out of control? I need to stop sleeping with it wet. As I brush my long brown hair, the girl in the mirror brown eyes too big for her, stares back at me. Wait… my eyes are blue! It dawns on me that I haven’t been looking in the mirror—I’ve been staring at a poster of Kirsten Stewart for the past five minutes. My own hair is fine.”


my own hair is fine
oh my god where can i buy this

riddlemehiddleston:

This came into work today. I shortlisted it and displayed it on my cafe counter.

The back said something like “He is into BDSM. (Batman, Dragons, Star Wars, and Magic the Gathering).”

The first paragraph starts like this:

“I growl with frustration at my reflection in the mirror. My hair is fifty shades of messed up. Why is it so kinky and out of control? I need to stop sleeping with it wet. As I brush my long brown hair, the girl in the mirror brown eyes too big for her, stares back at me. Wait… my eyes are blue! It dawns on me that I haven’t been looking in the mirror—I’ve been staring at a poster of Kirsten Stewart for the past five minutes. My own hair is fine.”

my own hair is fine

oh my god where can i buy this

(Source: m3lodigression, via ssohpkcfox)

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tastefullyoffensive:

[theoatmeal]
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psyducked:

the royal council has assembled

psyducked:

the royal council has assembled

(Source: jailor, via psyducked)

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ya-ssui:

Don’t be scared. I’m a shapeshifter too!

ya-ssui:

Don’t be scared. I’m a shapeshifter too!

(via psyducked)

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valvala:

im a man and i LOVE sitting on GIANT BALLSACKS

valvala:

im a man and i LOVE sitting on GIANT BALLSACKS

(Source: 40514294s, via ssohpkcfox)

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aworldawayfromyou:

tyleroakley:

crescentrax:

belgianwhovian:

He shot his arrow… IN MIDAIR

THROUGH THEIR CROTCH

THE ODDS ARE IN HIS FAVOR

THE ODDS ARE IN HIS FAVOR

aworldawayfromyou:

tyleroakley:

crescentrax:

belgianwhovian:

He shot his arrow… IN MIDAIR

THROUGH THEIR CROTCH

THE ODDS ARE IN HIS FAVOR

THE ODDS ARE IN HIS FAVOR

(Source: salt4life, via pizza)

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tastefullyoffensive:

Ignorance is bliss. [thegamercat]

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tiredestprincess:

ok new rule: if you’re gonna call me “cute” you have to specify whether you mean “cute like a little girl/baby animal” or “cute enough to bang mercilessly”

(via hotboyproblems)

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pulpdrinker:

sex tip!! when he puts it in, yell ‘what are u doing in my swamp’

(via hakununa-matata)

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colbaltdrg:

mewiet:

retrogradeworks:

I love to see children who are so delicate and gentle with animals.  It warms my heart amidst a sea of brats pulling cats’ tails and getting whacked.

Also JESUS THAT’S A SNUGGLY CHICKEN.

I love how she reaches up on her tippy toes to snuggle into his shoulder.

To be more exact, that’s a hen. Which is the female. This is likely not his first encounter with her. My grandpa had chickens and hens, and if you visit them frequently like this they develop affection to you. I would know, because I sat in the chicken coop alot. The hens get a small maternal kick, and come to cuddle you because she wants to keep you warm, like she would do with her chicks. This means the boy has spent alot of time with her, and that just makes it more heart warming.

(Source: hannahbowl, via crrocs)

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teenscoolest:

i’m not an idiot i just tired of being normal for too long

(via pizza)